Unsolicited Giggles

EdWasHear: Hello
I Giggle: Hi
EdWasHear: how are you tonight?
I Giggle: a little sleepy, but otherwise, I'm fine. How about you?
EdWasHear: i'm doing good...i'm breathing on my own and i'm eating solid foods
I Giggle: well, that's a good sign at least
EdWasHear: yeah....i guess i'm ready to pick up chicks now
I Giggle: hmm... well, probably. Though there might be some other things you might want to conquer first
I Giggle: some form of locomotion, for instance
EdWasHear: locomotion??? you meanlike that hot new disco dance every is raving about?
I Giggle: Woo, you've heard of it, too?
I Giggle: it's pretty rad
EdWasHear: i'm still trying to master the hustle
I Giggle: well, that's a tough one
EdWasHear: tell me about it...i've had 4 sexual harrasment suits from girls in my disco class since we started to learn it
I Giggle: oh you have? And what brought that on?
EdWasHear: i have no self control
I Giggle: ack, that can be troublesome.
EdWasHear: yeah.....but besides disco....i like to lot's of other things
I Giggle: oh really?
EdWasHear: i'm a duck farmer
I Giggle: not many of those around these days
I Giggle: what do you like best about being a duck farmer?
EdWasHear: i know...and so many duck ponds too...i like the duck rodeos the best
I Giggle: I can see why
I Giggle: what's the worst part about farming ducks?
EdWasHear: when Elvis comes home drunk and finds the shotgun
I Giggle: I was just reading about Elvis and shotguns, what a coincidence
EdWasHear: put booze and ducks into the mix....and it get's messy
I Giggle: did you know that he used to float lightbulbs in his pool and shoot them from his deck chair. They would flash and then sink
I Giggle: Elvis and booze just kinda go together, don't they?
EdWasHear: i'm drinking and i'm talking about him
I Giggle: hmm
EdWasHear: don't think i'm gay...a man drinking can talk about another man
I Giggle: the thought that you might be gay never crossed my mind
EdWasHear: ohh..let's forget i brought it up
I Giggle: done
EdWasHear: so, you're interested in drunk guys and shotguns?
EdWasHear: not to mention the bright lights
I Giggle: well, I am pretty much just interested in weird facts
I Giggle: did you know that Elvis used to shoot out tvs when things he didn't like would come on? You would think a remote control would be just as effective and a lot cheaper
EdWasHear: that goes to show you...you can take the boys out of the hills...but you can't take the hills out of the boys
I Giggle: true
EdWasHear: i have weird fact
I Giggle: oh?
EdWasHear: i haven't bathed or used deordorant in over 6 months...and no one has said anything to me about it yet
I Giggle: ok... that's a bit more than I needed to know
I Giggle: btw, what made you im me tonight?
EdWasHear: i'm cruising chicks
I Giggle: I see
I Giggle: going well so far?
EdWasHear: yeah...i almost have a date with a girl that thinks she's Satan on another IM
I Giggle: ooer, that sounds promising
EdWasHear: well..i bet she's good in the kitchen
I Giggle: and what makes you say that?
EdWasHear: plus...the talk show circut should make us rich
I Giggle: hmm... good point, I didn't think of that
EdWasHear: i like cajun food
I Giggle: ah, now I understand
I Giggle: well, sounds like a match made in... hmm... somewhere
EdWasHear: not bad for my first night out of the box eh?
I Giggle: what box is that?
EdWasHear: it's a long story...but my therapist is eccentric
I Giggle: is she/he? how so?
EdWasHear: well....every time i do something bad..i have to go into the box....she's pretty good...i'm the subject in the first 2 chapters in her book
I Giggle: ooh... and the name of the book is?
EdWasHear: Feminism Ruling Mars
I Giggle: sounds interesting
EdWasHear: yeah she's quite cultured...she's bi sexual and spent a lot of time in Brazil
I Giggle: hmm... sounds like she's got a wide varitey of experience
EdWasHear: well...i'm eating solid foods....and i also have a job as her pool boy
EdWasHear: i'm living proof
I Giggle: and what exactly are your duties as pool boy?
EdWasHear: i get the girls margiritas.....and if they want to snap my speedo they can...i also have oil myself down
EdWasHear: it's a lot of fun
I Giggle: I see. Sounds taxing. I hope it pays well
EdWasHear: it keeps me out of the box...and for 4 hours a day i get off my leash
I Giggle: well see, that sounds like it's a profitable position for you
EdWasHear: yeah...and on sundays i get to feed the ducks
I Giggle: oh that's right, the ducks
I Giggle: <~~forgot about them
I Giggle: do you have duckdogs to keep them in line?
I Giggle: I'm a bit unclear on what a duck farmer does, do you have to brand your ducks?
I Giggle: hmm... and I've never seen a duck lassoed, is it hard to do?
EdWasHear: no....there's not many duck rustlers....i don't actualy lasso them.....i just run around and chase them
I Giggle: in your speedos?
EdWasHear: well..of course...the girls love it....me chasing ducks in my speedo, cowboy boots and hat...it's a hoot
I Giggle: sounds like it....
EdWasHear: i forgot to mention...i'm all oiled up too
I Giggle: oh, that's right, cant' forget the oil
EdWasHear: in fact...my duck rodeos are quite popular in east coast gay bars...(i'm not gay)
I Giggle: of course, we already established that you are very much a heterosexual
EdWasHear: well..my therapist is trying to convert me to lesbianism
I Giggle: well, what are the tenets?
EdWasHear: i have to completely forget about my penis
I Giggle: umm... that could be difficult
EdWasHear: i know...it itches a lot
I Giggle: hmm... ok, that again is more info than I really needed
EdWasHear: we can talk about something else
I Giggle: sure
EdWasHear: let's talk about drunk rock stars with side burns again
I Giggle: ok, let's do that
EdWasHear: you start
I Giggle: did you know that one day he got in a weird mood, and fired up a bulldozer and headed for a cottage on his property. His dad was on the front porch. He told him to move and then plowed into the house. They set fire to the house and demolished it with bulldozers
I Giggle: your turn
EdWasHear: one night after a hot kareoke session....i ordered 1500 tacos in the taco bell drive thru
I Giggle: woo, and what kareoke were you singing to make you that hungry?
EdWasHear: i was doing a review of Madonna songs
I Giggle: do you know, I really am not that familiar with her music. I did like her in that movie, Dick Tracy, though
EdWasHear: you should here me sing Material Girl..the gay community raves about it
I Giggle: ah, but you are NOT gay, right?
EdWasHear: no....i'm just a lesbian child
I Giggle: a lesbian child?
EdWasHear: well...i'm not a full lesbian yet...you know...i have that "itch"
I Giggle: well, true
EdWasHear: but anyway....i'm quite popular in the gay community for my entertainment assets
I Giggle: well, of course you are
EdWasHear: so, what do you do?
I Giggle: besides chat? I have an extremely boring job as an accounting type person and I run a brand new online newsletter
EdWasHear: what kind of newsletter?
I Giggle: jokes and quotes and strange bits of trivia
I Giggle: like the Elvis stuff
EdWasHear: ahh....you ever put oiled down duck cowboys in it?
I Giggle: nope, but you might appear on my webpage
EdWasHear: i feel warm inside...you want to get married or something?
I Giggle: haven't you read my profile? I think, therefore I'm single
EdWasHear: ohh...you're not a lesbian...like i'm going to be one day....i see....i guess all the good girls are straight
I Giggle: I guess so
I Giggle: now, you don't wanna jump into that lesbian thing...
EdWasHear: well...it's a slow proccess....just last week i switchted from Budweiser to manhattans for drink of choice
I Giggle: is that an important step?
EdWasHear: yeah...it makes me look worldly
I Giggle: ah, ok. What about Root Beer? What kind of image does that project?
EdWasHear: that progects a bunch of nerds sitting around at an orgie wondering who's going to get naked first
I Giggle: ack
I Giggle: hmm... maybe I should switch to Seven Up then
EdWasHear: hmmm....i mother used to feed me that when i had the flu and i was vomiting
EdWasHear: my
I Giggle:
EdWasHear: the Satan girl just dumped me
I Giggle: ah, that's too bad... what went wrong?
EdWasHear: i lied to her..i told her i was God.....she asked me to make it rain
I Giggle: and you said?
EdWasHear: i told her i was all dried up...but there's a 40% chance of rain tomorrow
I Giggle:
EdWasHear: well...I guess god works in mysterious ways
I Giggle: hmm... I think I've heard that
EdWasHear: oh well
I Giggle: well, as much as I'm enjoying this, I need to get to bed
EdWasHear: ok....maybe tomorrow we can talk about the time i was in Guam
I Giggle: coo, that would be nice
EdWasHear: ok, Ginger....goodnight